Gone
by ShadowSoulN7
Summary: After fleeing Kirkwall, Emily Hawke goes back to Ferelden, back to Lothering and lives will change forever more once again. *Sequel to Remember*
1. Prologue: Flee the City of Chains

**Alright, this is my sequel to my other fic, _Remember_. I call it _Gone_for many reasons; the companions leave Emily, the past is behind them all, Emily and her companions flee Kirkwall, etc. This fic will cover a ton of things, and life or death, friends, family, the whole nine yards. ****Also, get ready for some good-byes (even though almost every companion, if not every one of them, will make a return later in the story)**

**Included Pairings: Mage!LadyHawkeXFenris and CarverXMerrill**

**Rating: M**

**Concept: After the final fight, Emily Hawke flees Kirkwall with her companions. They run for the harbor and to Isabela's new ship then set sail for Ferelden. Each companion is soon forced from Emily's side, soon she is only left with her brother, Carver, as well as his girlfriend and her own friend, Merrill, but also her lover, Fenris, and his own sister, Varania, plus a servant elf she freed years ago by the name of Orana.**

**She struggles to find a life but gets struck by luck and runs into a few people to help her, she will accept their help, but what will the cost be? She has a family to take care of and will give anything to make sure they are safe and well, but this final cost may be too much even for her...**

**Please read, enjoy and review (I love to hear feedback and thoughts, everything helps me improve!)**

-x-x-x-

The stars glittered in the sky like bits of ice, the wind brought the smell of ocean water and seaweed to Emily's nose, a constant reminder they were sailing the ocean. The apostate sighed heavily and glanced down at the blue and black water as it rolled by and lapped the side of the boat.

The battle within Kirkwall had ended, neither side had won, not the mages, not the Templars, but there had been so much useless blood shed that she had tried to stop but failed to. None of her friends had fallen at least, and they were all with her now, and a few extra people she had gotten to join her and to come with her.

Emily made sure Sandal and Bodahn had made it out safely from the crumbling city and to Orlais, then she had gotten Orana and Varania from her house and with the rest of them, Varania had been protecting the estate with magic the whole time just like when the Qunari attacked, and Emily was very grateful once again for her doing that.

Isabela had left to ready the ship, leaving others to do what they needed then run for the docks and the ship. Aveline had set another guard in charge of the rest, then got Donnic and left with him to the docks, her husband had agreed instantly, not wanting to be in the city of chains any longer. Carver had set any trusted Templars to help the guards and heal casualties. Merrill checked through the alienage and Varric checked through the Hanged Man while Anders checked his clinic. Sebastian ended up going with Isabela since the Chantry was gone, and ever since he got on the boat, he had been praying to the Maker for the lost souls.

Now, they all sat on the boat; Anders healed any wounded, Isabela commanded her men, Carver holding Merrill close to him and trying to calm her, Orana was with Varania and both of them were listening to one of Varric's stories, Aveline was speaking in hushed tones with Donnic, Sebastian was out of the way in silence still praying. Emily was standing at the edge looking into the night, watching Kirkwall grow smaller and smaller, Fenris stood next to her, an arm around her. She smiled, he was so sweet, so kind to her.

Her mind was full of thoughts, adrenaline and magic seemed to run through her veins mixed with the blood, her feet ached and her hands were sore as well. In simple, she hurt like hell and felt like shit, not looking much better.

Emily was still in her armor, her champion armor she had collected, but she had set the helmet aside as well as her staff. Her things were stained with much blood, not her own, but others', not all were her enemies, some of it, she knew, was Fenris'. Meredith had gone for him, trying to get Emily to waver when she made her blows, but the knight commander had misjudged, hurting one she cared for, one she loved, just made an enemy get more of her flame of anger, Emily was stronger when defending ones she cared for, she was quicker as well, so Meredith had made that mistake. So when Meredith had struck him and blood come from the horrid wound, Emily had struck her one final time before having her mabari, Lynx, and other companions focus on Meredith while she went on healing her beloved.

She felt fur beneath one of her hands and glanced down to see Lynx looking at her with big black eyes, he was panting and whining. She scratched his head and he let out a few happy but quiet barks. She smiled, he was a good boy. After a moment Lynx ran off and headed for Merrill and Carver, he always knew when somebody was upset, and Merrill clearly still was.

Emily looked back to the swirling ocean waters and sighed. She had come to Kirkwall on a boat seven years ago with her brother, mother and Aveline, but now she was leaving with so many more people she cared for, but what she would give for a few more.

She felt like she wanted to run off and cry, she didn't know why she felt like this however, she just did. The apostate sighed again and blinked her golden eyes, trying to fight the tears. She wasn't going to cry in front of her companions, she needed to stay strong right now, no matter how much she wanted to break. She was like her Amell cousin, an icon for many, including those she traveled with.

"Are you alright, Emily?" a voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned to face her elven lover and shook her head in reply.

"I am alright considering all that has happened in the last seven years. All the death, but I don't let it get to me. It just makes me stronger if you think about it. And anyways, I will stay strong, for not the sake of myself, but for others. I know I have no other choice. I cry, then I cry in private." she shrugged. Fenris said nothing but just looked at her. Emily wriggled under his intense green gaze.

"If that is what you decided, I can not change your mind, I know that. Just know that with every one here knowing what you have been through, I think, no I know, they would understand." he told her, placing a hand under her chin. The metal claw-like gauntlets were cold against her warm skin and she felt one claw at her skin like a blade but she didn't mind.

"I know, yes, but I feel like I shouldn't, I do not want to waver, I do not want to break down. And you know when I break down, I'm in so many maker damned pieces I can't collect myself quickly." she sighed. He leaned his face close to her own, only a mere two centimeters away.

"Yes, you do have that habit." he teased her with a slight grin then giving her a quick kiss. Emily blinked and smiled softly, every time he kissed her, it seemed her pain and stress ebbed away a little bit at a time.

"I suppose I do, yes." she laughed. There was the sound of boots clicking on the wood of the floor boards and Emily turned to see Isabela stalking toward them, grinning.

"Aye!" she greeted. "Ye shall be at Ferelden tomorrow at latest! Enjoy yer ride, ye land dwellers!" she turned with a laugh and was gone. Merrill giggled at the pirate's new speak, or what Isabela called the 'language of the sea' that all pirates spoke.

"Not even a day and she's speaking jibberish," Aveline sighed. "I expected nothing else, though." Donnic put an arm around his wife.

"You have to meet with the king when we get there, love. Why don't we go get some rest?" he suggested. Aveline nodded, slipping from his grip and over to Emily.

"I need to explain this to you, Hawke, you deserve to know. You remember how King Alistair offered to reinstate me? I've decided to take it if the offer is still open, so as soon as I can, I am going to meet with him and see. Maybe Donnic could serve with me as well." the warrior explained. "You are a good friend, and I will make sure to visit, plus, can't let you get into trouble, now can I?"

"That is great to hear, Aveline, it really is." Emily gave a nod. "And I expect those visits, you hear?" Aveline chuckled but returned the nod before heading off with Donnic for below decks wear Isabela had given them all somewhere to sleep. It was silent for a while but there was only soft snoring to be heard; Merrill had fallen asleep in Carver's arms.

The ex-Templar stood with the Dalish elf hanging from his arms, snuggles close to his chest. Emily saw a genuine and sweet, loving smile as her brother carried Merrill away and Lynx fallowing the elf's trailing scarf. Her brother had always seemed to have a crush on the elf, and now, they were happily together.

One by one each person left for sleep, the battle had been tiring in itself, but then one had to add everything after that and all the running, either way it added up to exhaustion. After Aveline, Donnic, Carver and Merrill left, Anders fallowed, then Orana and Varania, then Varric, Sebastian after that, the only ones left were Emily herself, and Fenris. The elf refused to sleep while Emily was still up ad on the deck, even despite what she had told him, so she finally just gave up trying to get him to sleep.

Emily shifted and moved herself closer to him as he held her again. She laid her head on his chest, letting the soft sound of his heart beat calm her and lull her to sleep. She blinked and then her eyes drifted shut, with a final soft breath, sleep claimed the exhausted apostate. Fenris still held her close, ran a hand through her hair, and lightly kissed the crown of her head, listening to her soft snoring, watching her sleep peacefully made him smile.

-x-x-x-

The ship still rocked beneath Emily's feet, she walked through busy masses of pirates trying to ready everything for docking in Ferelden. She could hear Isabela barking orders at her men on what to do, the pirate captain seemed to enjoy it as well. Most her companions were still gather the belongings they had managed to grab before fleeing, Emily had already packed her own things up and she was ready to go.

She shifted and moved to the side of the boat, tilting her head over the edge. She had never been one to get sea sick, so maybe it was just something she had eaten, pirate's didn't eat the best food and she had eaten...well something the night before. Emily grunted and wiped her mouth, disgusting. She spun back around and headed to the front of the ship to where Isabela was and where Orana had been kind enough to take the belongings of anybody who was leaving.

As Emily walked onto the main deck, she found all of her companions waiting, all with their things. Isabela stood with one foot on a create and she got down then walked over to Emily, she was still grinning.

"Ye be careful, Hawke. Yer a wonderful land dwelling friend. Aye, expect me to visit from time to time, but stop with yer damn good influence!" she laughed and gave a wink.

"But of course, captain! What would I do without all your pirate charm?" Emily joked in reply and gave Isabela a hug. "Take care, Izzy, and no more stealing Qunari relics, alright?"

"Screwed ye would be without my pirate charms! And I shall not...that ye know of. But aye, ye take care as well, Hawke." Isabela said and smiled before turning and continuing to command her men as they docked and set up to let people off.

Aveline and Isabela already had plans for now, but Emily wondered of the others. Orana had promised to serve her, and Fenris wasn't going anywhere, she knew that, as for Varania would more then likely stay with her brother. She knew whatever happened to Carver and Merrill, they would stay with one another. Sebastian would go try to reclaim Starkheavan like he said he would. As for Varric and Anders, she had no clue, Varric would probably deal with his family hell, maybe even finally deal with the Merchants Guild, while Anders had to hide from any Templars and Wardens, and he had spoken of opening up a new clinic.

Lynx let out a few whimpers and wagged what of a tail he had. He padded over and nuzzled Merrill's hand, she cooed a few elven words at the mabari and scratched his head, he barked happily. Merrill smiled as she continued to pet him, murmuring a few more elven words.

"All right, ye land dwellers!" Isabela called their attention to her, she had taken her pose with one foot on a create again, she had hands hands on her hips and her golden eyes glittered. "Ferelden we be docked at, ye may now go as ye please, but quickly now. Me and the boys will be gone before noon. It was a pleasure to know all of ye, not that this is good bye, don't ye even think this is the last ye will see of me. Aye, it will not be, not even close. But, get yer things and scatter of my ship if your going." she gave a chuckle and glanced at each person. Each did as they were told and Emily was one of the first to leave the ship, she waved a final farewell to Isabela before making her way through the docks.

Soon the rest of her friends joined her and Aveline stepped forward, her bright green eyes full of mixing and swirling emotion. The warrior shot her a soft smile.

"Hawke, it was an honor to meet you and to fight beside you. And like I said, expect visits." Aveline said. "But for now, this is farewell. Take care of yourself."

"I will, and I want you to take care of yourself too, Aveline." Emily told her before giving her a quick hug. "And give thee king my greeting." Aveline nodded before turning to leave, Donnic fallowing her. Now Sebastian and Anders were bickering on who was going to talk to Hawke next and Sebastian pushed the mage forward.

"I suppose this is where I leave as well, Hawke." the healer managed. "I never thought I would make it to see this day, but I thank you for everything. I plan to start a new clinic, however, unlike others you will probably not see me again. Just take care."

"Alrght, and I hope the clinic works out for you, Anders." she smiled. "And you take care as well." with that, he left and Sebastian took his place.

"As you know, Hawke, I must reclaim Starkheaven, so I must leave as well." the prince paused. "I may visit Ferelden, maybe even you. May the Maker watch over you, take care."

"I wish you luck with that, Sebastian, you will make a good ruler for Starkheaven. And you take care yourself, may the Maker guide you." she usually wouldn't be religious, but she would be just for him since she knew how much it meant to him and with his strong faith in the Maker. Sebastian left and Emily turned to Varric, crossing her arms over her chest. "So, my trusty dwarf, do you plan to leave as well?" she asked. He chuckled.

"I do have things to take care of, but Goldie, you better believe this isn't the last of me, or the last of Bianca." he told her. Emily smiled.

"Alright, Varric. Then I wish you luck and take care, of yourself and of Bianca." she said. "And I wouldn't even dare to think this would be the last I saw of you! Just perish the thought!" she paused. "Next time I see you, my friend, I shall buy you a pint. How about it?"

"I'm holding you to that, you know that, right Goldie?" he joked. "Next time, a pint. You buy the first round, I'll buy the next," he tilted his head in Fenris' direction. "The elf can buy the next five."

"What!" Fenris questioned in shock. Emily laughed at his reaction.

"Then I might as well buy and you know it, Varric." she shrugged. "But that's fine."

"I suppose," Varric replied. "But if I don't go now, we shall never see. So Goldie, take care of yourself and the elf. Oh and then his sister and her friend." the dwarf turned to look at Carver. "And Junior, you watch out for yourself, and Daisy." with the final word he turned to leave.

"May the Dread Wolf never find you, and Creators watch over you, Varric!" Merrill called after him. He waved a hand back at her and kept walking. Emily was silent for a few moments before she turned to the rest.

"Well Carver, do you and Merrill plan to go as well?" she asked. Lynx whimpered beside her before padding over to Merrill and nuzzling her hand again. She pet his head and Carver answered his sister.

"Em, if it's alright, I would actually stay with you until later." he explained. "Until we have any idea on what we plan to do." Merrill nodded and then continued petting Lynx, whispering a few words in his furry ear.

"Alright, then let's go. I have an idea on where to go, not much there, however it's something to start with." she told them all, stretching and letting the sun warm her face. "To Lothering, that's where we must go!" Carver's eyes widened when she said Lothering.

"Sister, you don't plan to rebuild what mother and father had, do you?" he asked her. She gave a nod in reply. He sighed and shook his head but smiled. Emily turned to Fenris and Varania.

"Where we stayed when we lived here, you two shall see where me and my father came from when we three all first met in Tevinter." she said. "It's the perfect place for all. It's secluded, has room for a garden, fields for Lynx to run, me and Carver know it well. Once rebuilt, it'll be perfect." she paused. "It'll take time to rebuild, sadly. But completely worth it."

"Anything sounds worth it for you, Emily." Fenris whispered to her, lightly kissing her forehead. Orana and Varania were murmuring to one another behind them both, Varania giggling slightly. Merrill stood up and Carver put and arm around her shoulder. Lynx barked a few times trying to get more attention.

"Well, sooner we head for there, sooner we get there and can get started, yes?" Emily asked. They all nodded their agreement and Carver gave her the signal to lead them all, which she knew why he would allow her to lead; to hang back with Merrill. She gave a curt nod then turned and headed in the direction of Lothering, it was time for a new life, it was time to finally settle down for once in seven years.


	2. Reunion

**Sorry for the delay, everybody! I meant to have this chapter done before now but things got in the way, so I'm mega sorry for the wait!**

**Okay, between this chapter and the prologue, there is a eight year gap, HOWEVER, I am planning on doing like flashback type things to the eight years through out the fic. The time skip works better with part of the story, I suppose you could say, mainly with the ages of children (warning right there, you don't want kids in the fic, don't continue reading...you have been warned)**

**Anyhow, read, enjoy and please review.**

* * *

><p>"Mother!" Mal yelled from where he stood in the door way. His white hair was sticking out and tinged, his gold eyes blazed with anger and his cloths were smoking. Emily sighed, shit, not again. Her daughter and son could just never het along, not since the day they had been born.<p>

"Mal, she set you on fire, didn't she?" she asked and he nodded in reply. Third time this month, then she could count the frozen merchants, the horses hit by lightning, and countless other things. Lea Beth was a troublemaker, and worse then Emily herself had been at the same age.

"It wasn't on purpose!" Lea Beth ran in, pushing her brother out of the door way to get in the house. "He got in the way of my spells! I was trying to practice and he stepped in my way! It's his own fault!"

"You could have warned me!" Mal retorted. Lea Beth stuck out her tongue at him. Emily crossed her arms, was this what her and her siblings had sounded like? No wonder her mother and father had always been so tired and irritated, however, Mal had his father's temper and as for Lea Beth, she was like both her parents, in temper and in kindness.

"I tried! You didn't listen to me!" Lea Beth snapped. She looked at her mother with big green eyes. "I did, I really did try, mother." she blew a brown hair out of her face before turning back to her brother. "And your alive, Mal, come on, it could have been worse."

"Have you seen my hair, Lea!" he questioned. "Or my clothes! These are the best clothes I have for sword practice! You go and burn them just as I was going for father to show me new techniques!"

"Hey, you ruined my best robes by cutting them to pieces, and you also nailed the shreds to the bed tied with my hair last time, so I don't want to hear it, brother." she reminded and shrugged. He stormed off to their shared bedroom and slammed the door. Emily sighed heavily and Lea Beth looked back to her. "Sorry mother." she apologized.

"Go apologize to your brother, and Lea, I...just tell Mal to clean himself up, there is a new clothing for his dueling I just got, as well as new robes for you. Both are in the box just outside your room. Both of you change, and tell him he can go practice with your father." Emily told her daughter. Lea Beth gave a nod and ran off for her room.

There was a knock on the door and Emily sighed as she walked over and pulled it open. As soon as she did, her tiredness faded away instantly at seeing who it was. The woman was in a most casual outfit instead of armor, as was the man next to her, in front of them both was a child with red hair, just like her mother's.

"Aveline! Donnic!" she greeted, her grin getting wider. She hadn't seen the guard captain in so long, she had missed her. "Oh it's been too long!"

"Hawke, I told you I'd visit." the warrior replied but smiled. Emily shook her head slightly.

"Ah, but it's been two years too long. Your last visit was so long ago." the mage paused. "And may I ask who this little girl is? I do not remember her from last visit."

"I'm Tahlia." the girl said grinning. "You must be the Champion, Hawke. Momma has told me all about what you did in Kirkwall and from when you and her first met and fought that nasty ogre." she looked around. "I don't mean to sound rude but, is there anything I could do here?"

"Aw, how polite. I wish my kids were like that. But yes, Lea Beth will be glad to play with a kid who isn't Mal or Lari. She should be in her room, the second door on the right." Emily instructed before Tahlia ran off. She then turned her attention back to Aveline.

"Alright, you said hi, now ye better move over, wench!" came a voice behind Aveline. Isabela pushed her way between Donnic and Aveline so she could face Emily. "Hawke! Didn't I tell you that you hadn't seen the last of me?" Emily chucked.

"I believed you, Izzy. You haven't stolen any more qunari relics have you?" she joked. The pirate shook her head with a broad grin.

"No." there was a pause. "And also, I ain't the only one Aveline's battering-ram build was hiding." she added a wink.

"Goldie, you still owe me that pint." Varric called. "Choir Boy also has something for you. Well, we all do, but what he has is enough for a lifetime of ale!"

"So, I have my charming pirate lass, my guard captain, my trusty dwarf and my religious prince on my doorstep. Hm, who's missing?" Emily pursed her lips jokingly.

"Blondie is here to, Goldie, don't worry about that." Varric told her, moving into sight. "He just is upset that he couldn't bring his cat with for the visit. Plus he didn't want you to know he was here with us all yet."

"Shut up, dwarf! You know I have that cat with me at the moment!" Anders hissed. Varric chuckled.

"It's called sarcasm, and you know that you just gave yourself away, Blondie."

"Enough bickering, come in and make yourselves at home." Emily told them. "And Varric, I have some ale in the kitchen if you want, Izzy there are cards in the cabinet. I need to go and get somebody, or a few. A good reunion I say." she beckoned them in before leaving the room.

"You do know that your old rival is gonna flip out when he sees you, right?" Isabela pointed out to Anders as she went to get the card deck. "I mean, I still remember the day he almost killed you. Or the few times. But the most recent I remembered. What was it for again? Saying something about the twins or was it something about Hawke?"

"Shut up." Anders snapped at her. "It was neither. It was about mages."

"Either way, I'd be careful." the pirate advised, already shuffling the cards in hand. "And by now, you might have more then him to deal with. I remember Hawke told me about a year ago when I saw her that Lea Beth is quite a powerful mage and Mal is quite the little warrior who has the temper of his father."

"Does he wear spikes and brood yet?" Varric chided. "It's obvious he's the elf's son, but it would be uncanny if he did." the dwarf shrugged, setting down glasses of ale on the table.

"He just might, Varric. I mean, Tahlia has that red hair and she can lift a whole village like her mother. Anybody here who has a child or more, well, it's an uncanny resemblance." Isabela laughed.

"Shut up, whore. Don't forget she knows your a slattern, just like we all do and have." Aveline replied, referring to when her daughter had asked what a slattern was and all she did was point to Isabela. There was the sound of a door opening and closing before Emily appeared again.

"Back." she smiled. Fenris stepped into the room and glanced at them all, his eyes falling to Anders.

"Venhedis fassta vass." he muttered, eyes narrowing.

"Well look what the mabari dragged in." the healer replied. Emily gave them both a look and they were quiet but still glaring at one another with eyes of hate. There were the sounds of footsteps and Merrill, Carver, who was holding Lari, appeared.

"Oh it's nice to see you all!" Merrill greeted with her usual grin. "Creators only know what would happen if you all weren't alright too!"

"Good to see you, Daisy." Varric gave a nod then turned his attention to Carver. "Well Junior, glad to see you kept yourself and Daisy safe all these years, and little Lari." Carver nodded, being to focused on Lari to pay close attention and reply, but Lari saw the room full of people and squealed.

"Papa, are these the people mama told me stories about?" the young girl asked, pointed ears twitching. "There are so many...and they look so...strange."

"She's so kind." Anders muttered before Isabela elbowed him with a hiss. The healer doubled over from the sharp jab.

"Shut it, she's adorable. You're the only one that looks weird anyway. The rest of us look damn good." the pirate told him under her breath. Merrill took Lari from Carver and walked off in the direction of the bedrooms to put her with the other three children in the house. She then returned a moment later, still smiling.

"Alright, Goldie, we gotta tell you something." Varric said. "It has to do with the Seekers. They're tracking you, one already interrogated me about what happened and I told her I had no clue. Total lie, but I knew I'd have to make sure they didn't find you."

"Seekers? Ah blighted hell. That's worse then Templars." Emily sighed, crossing her arms. "Where'd they interrogate you?"

"Your old estate in Kirkwall." Varric shrugged. Emily nearly jumped when she heard him say the word Kirkwall, so many bad memories.

"Did they go through anything of the remains? Did they do anything? Oh maker, I hope they didn't. No, no, no. This can't be happening. I was already wanted by Templars, but Seekers now too? Shit." she managed, turning to Fenris. "You do remember what I hid beneath the floor boards, don't you?"

"I do...damn it." the elf replied with a slight sigh or irritation and worry. Emily turned back to the others before she spoke again.

"Before any of you ask, I'll tell you." she paused. "I put a box of personal belongings and a few gifts I meant to give you all. Shit. I...I'm screwed. My journal was in there, it had everything in it...and then mother's room key." she explained. "And some important letters..."

"You left all that in the maker damned estate, sister?" Carver interrupted. "What were you thinking?"

"Damn it all to hell." Emily muttered. "Isabela, your ship at the docks?" the pirate nodded. "Alright, I want you to take me to Kirkwall. I don't care if there's a chance I'll be caught, I have to see if they found my things." she paused for a moment. "I know you all just got here, guys, but...I just have to get this stuff."

"You are not going without me, Emily. You know that." Fenris told her. "I'm not breaking that promise, I never plan to either."

"Oh shit, Lea and Mal...um...Varric! Yeah, can you watch them? All of you can stay here if you want for a few days until we return, or go and live your life like before you came to visit."

"I'm going with you, sister. You'll need me." Carver put a hand on her shoulder. "If any templars or seekers show up, I can help you." he turned to look at Merrill. "Stay here with Lari, okay?" the small elven woman gave a curt nod.

"Hawke, you're insane." Anders commented. Emily looked at him with a smirk.

"Haven't I always been, Anders? You guys know me best, I'm a sarcastic crazy mage, but is there any other way to go?" she shrugged.

"Goldie, you be careful, alright?" Varric told her, Emily gave a small nod.

"I will. You guys just don't let my kids destroy everything and it'll all be okay." she said. "Isabela, let's go. Ready?" the duelist rogue smirked and headed for the door. "I promise all four of us will come back in one piece, it'll be fine." the mage headed for the door, grabbing her staff before she exited. Carver and Fenris each grabbed a broadsword, Carver quickly kissing Merrill before he did, and the two left as well. The house was quiet except for the dim sound of playing children in another room.


End file.
